Monday, May 5, 2008

On the murdering of swamps

Typical of this bloody place. Old Mostlyharmless was supposed to have me take over on the first of Granite, but he wasn't ready till the third. Let's see what we've got to do...

Later: OK, so that lever works that blasted waterfall he was so proud of, and that one works the drawbridge. I guess telling someone to sit by it and pull it as often as possible was nasty, but it was funny to watch it go shooting in and out... Started a Grand Project of somewhere I can smeg off to and be alone when I get out of this job. What's this? We need refined coal? Well, where's the bloody unrefined coal? Go and dig some out, refine it, and stop bothering me. I can hardly read Mostlyharmless's runes, and here I am trying to run the bloody fortress off the notes he left me. Mostly carved into the bloody desk. What the hell "Kilroy Was Here" is supposed to mean, I don't know, and as for that ugly glyph above it, it scares me... is it some kind of nose demon? I need a bloody drink.

A bit later on: Oh, bloody hell. The treehuggers are here. Guess someone had better see what they want. That lazy bastard of a sheriff was counting stuff, so I told anyone they could trade. I think we got stiffed, though. This gnomeblight stuff better be damned good booze, the price they want for it. Work continues on my Grand Project of a place for me to go and retire to at the end of my term in office...

2nd Slate: First time I've been able to check the date in some time. Bloody treehuggers wouldn't leave, then we got frigging goblins turning up. I think we killed them all, though. I can't bloody tell, I'm stuck in this office for so damned long all I have to go on is fourth hand "Yeah, they're all dead" type reports. Bloody useless, I tell you. Not a month on the job and I'm wondering how Mostlyharmless stayed sane as long as he did. I'm going to go sketch out more designs for my Big Retirement Cavern, and then see what this gnomeblight shit's like to drink...


  1. So here I am, sitting here, laughing out loud about nose demons. That is all.


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